I'm Up in the Air, But At Least I'm No Longer Up in the Air

I am writing this from the plane to Philly, hovering somewhere over Nebraska (thanks to online tracking and in flight Internet), and with really bad red onion breath resulting from the turkey (onion) sliders (onions) that I had for lunch.  I didn’t eat at 5:30 this morning and then made it into Salt Lake City only minutes before my connecting flight, which was conveniently departing from the other side of the airport.  Whatever happened to free in-flight meals on long flights? Cheapskates.

Anyway, I wanted to get some thoughts down about this day before my computer dies and before the feelings lose their freshness, or get drowned in the rush of the next, well, two years. 

It feels so monumental.  So momentous.  And at the same time I am filled with an almost eerie calm. This was a major departure (pardon the pun) from the previous week or so of high anxiety and roller coaster mood swings. 

The images and thoughts coming into my head while I was driving to the airport this morning with my Mom and Phil was like watching the movie of my past 7 months.  I could remember so clearly driving into Boise when I moved, pretty emotionally wrecked and overwhelmed and with a vague sense that I was going to be leaving at some point (when???) to start this new adventure that I had ripped my life to shreds to be able to do.  I remember holing up in my parents’ house and watching a lot of bad TV and sleeping late and trying to sort out what I would do for work.  I remembered finally finding a job at the Idaho Botanical Gardens, which turned out to be the perfect opportunity for me.  Then meeting Phil and getting to revel in having a new close friend for the last few months of my stay.  I remembered the long application process and every single moment of enthusiastic excitement and joy at things gone right, and every moment of utter crushing despair when things went wrong.  I so clearly remembered the angst of waiting and having no other plan and no idea when I would finally know something.  I remembered all the friends and family who cheered me on through the process, always telling me that it would work out, that I would know something next week, or the following.  Anyway, much of this is already detailed in previous entries, but I got to re-experience the entire movie reel of it all as I travelled to the airport, checked in and prepared to board my flight.

And now, like I said, I’m oddly calm.  Oddly relaxed.  It’s not just the lack of sleep, but this overwhelming feeling of relief, and freedom, and excitement, and that it is right.  It just feels right.  So the good news is, my anxiety has faded into the background and been replaced with joy and sense of looking forward.

A note to you all.  I have so many amazing people in my life that have been there for me, oftentimes better than I have been there for them.  Some have been my rocks and my champions in a big way during the past few years, such as my Mom and step-father Kesh and my close friend Melissa P. There are also all the wonderful people who contributed to the fundraiser to help send me to the Peace Corps.  Added to that is a huge groups of amazing friends, family and acquaintances that have been on my side and so excited and curious about my adventures. There are so many of you in my life that even though we don’t talk or email, still post Facebook comments in support of my dreams, or simply “like” my blog or photos, those little moments of support are noticed and meaningful to me, so thank you.

To all of you reading this, I know that this isn’t a forever kind of goodbye, but two years is a long time and I want you to know that your support and encouragement and faith in me has been beyond just appreciated.  You have contributed to helping this dream come true and keeping me pushing towards it no matter what the process looked like.  Any single one of you is welcome to come and visit me!

Countdown to Staging (38/52)

Things are getting exciting around these parts.  And VERY VERY real.  I have only 14 days left before I leave for staging in Philadelphia.  This is my last week of work, which is kind of blowing my mind.  And the stuff in my room is slowly making its way into boxes for storage.

I have added a some info to the right of my page that has a wish list that I will keep updated and the instructions for mailing care packages (Meaning:  You care and I will appreciate packages!  Please send!!).  I would also love pen pals, so please write me letters, I will definately write back!

I have spent the past week reading the blog of a former Peace Corps volunteer in Mozambique (I haven't finished it yet), called "Every Week in Mozambique" This determined man wrote an entry every single week about his experience, from training to the end of service.  Given that one of my personal goals is to write about this experience, I've decided to do the same. Please forgive me in advance if some of the entries get a bit tedious. At times his tended to focus excessively on food and Frisbee playing.  That said, you can consider this my public commitment to write an entry each week (although there might be some delay in the posting depending on my access to Internet).

For those of you curious about how this works, here is what the next few months of my life will look like:

May 30-June 2:  I will fly to Philly to meet up with the other 29 volunteers in my Health Program group.  We will stay the night at a hotel, and then will have a full day the next day finishing up paperwork, having medical appointments and getting oriented to the Peace Corps and each other.  The following day (June 1) at 2:30AM we will load onto a bus and be driven to Newark Airport.  At 11am we will get on a plane to Johannesburg (flight time 15 hours and 20 minutes), have a five hour layover and then a one-hour flight to Maputo, Mozambique.

June 2-June 5: We will stay in a swanky hotel in Maputo for a three-day in-country orientation and then will be taken to Namaacha, Moz where we will be placed with host families for the next 10 weeks.  We won't be told where in the country we will be placed for our two years of service until a couple weeks from the end of training.

August 12: Training ends and we are sworn in as Peace Corps Volunteers (rather than "Trainees") and taken to our new sites.

Let the adventure begin!

Countdown to Staging (Day 29/53)

24 days to go!

Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve written.   My world has gotten so surreal!  I continue to go to work, do my laundry, see my family, hang out with my delightful friend Phil, and basically go about my daily life. These are short moments of “normalcy,” because every 5 minutes or so I remember that I am leaving for Mozambique and either it feels like a dream (as if it is happening in some alternate reality of which I am not actually a part) or I really get it that I am actually leaving and feel a rush of excitement like a bolt of electricity running through my body.

I’ve decided that I can’t think about the reality of it too much, because I don’t think that my immune system or mind could handle the constant state of high excitement and anxiety that accompanies moving to a country so far away, to live in an unfamiliar culture, with an unknown language, in an unknown place within the country doing unknown work.  My motto with this whole adventure has been to get the stone rolling down the hill by doing everything I need to do, until ultimately I get off the plane in Maputo and there is no turning back.  The goal is to do this without worrying too much about what it will actually look like once I’m there.  I’m sure it’s beyond my ability to accurately imagine it anyway.

Because of Facebook, I’ve been getting a sense of at least some of the folks I will be training with as well as some of the volunteers in country.  The current volunteers seem to love it there!  And more than one has told us that we have hit the Peace Corps jackpot in terms of assignments.  I’m taking this as a very good sign.  Apparently we (Moz 16) are the first group of solely health program volunteers to arrive in country.  I am assuming this is a part of the new expansion of the health program in Mozambique, but true to the Peace Corps modus operandi, it’s all a mystery to us. It seems like there are some wonderful people from all over the country out there preparing for this same adventure and I can’t wait to meet them all!

I’ve also been stomping my way through my list of different tasks and have been doing a great job of getting things crossed off.  It’s amazing that it’s already been a month since my invitation, but I feel good about the progress I’ve made.

Packing is a huge pain.  It’s amazing how quickly 80 pounds of luggage adds up, and trying to decide what I need in training and what can be stored until my placement and what I can fit into a carry-on bag is like solving a Rubik’s Cube.  I keep trying to tell myself that all of the things that I “can’t bear” to not take with me are likely to seem like unnecessary extravagance once I get there.  But seriously, in my head, I DO need 15 pairs of pants!  I DO need 5 dresses.  So I’m waiting for one of those special moods that I get into where “stuff” seems unnecessary to trim down my piles of packing (I used one of these moods to consolidate all of my stuff into a single carload for the move to Boise, so I know that it’s possible).  The photo below shows just the clothing portion of my draft packing adventure…there is a whole huge suitcase already full of other supplies.

Other notes:  I found a Portuguese tutor, so that is helpful, and he is going to help me get ready for the basic navigation I’ll need to do before training begins.  Also, I sold my car, so I am a biker babe now, which is actually fun (minus the watery eyes and sweaty pits that I seem to have every time I get to work in the morning!). 

Well, that’s my update!  I’ll try to update at least one more time before I leave with instructions for sending care packages and letters, wish list items, etc.